Guided conversation
A guided repair conversation after a disagreement
A private, printable set of prompts for revisiting an everyday conflict with care, clarity, and one concrete next step.
Use this guide only when both people can choose to participate and the conversation feels safe enough to revisit. It is a way to prepare, not a script that obliges someone to forgive, agree, or stay in a relationship.
Before you start
Choose a time when neither person must rush. Agree that either can ask for a pause and a time to return. If there has been intimidation, threats, or fear, do not use this worksheet to pressure a joint conversation; seek confidential support suited to the situation.
1 · Describe what happened
Use observable details rather than character judgments. “We both raised our voices when plans changed” opens a different conversation from “You never respect me.”
What I observed
2 · Name the impact and listen
Each person can describe what they felt or needed, while the other listens and checks understanding. Try: “What I heard you say is…” before explaining your own view. Understanding does not require agreement with every interpretation.
What mattered to me
What I heard mattered to the other person
3 · Own one part and make one request
Ask what you can take responsibility for without accepting every possible blame. Then make a request small enough to try. The APA’s relationship guidance emphasizes constructive listening and conflict rather than avoiding difficult subjects.
One part I can own
One clear request
4 · Agree on what happens next
Choose one observable action and a time to check back. If either person needs more time, say so. If the same pattern returns repeatedly, consider whether a therapist can help you understand it in a more supported setting.
The next action and when we will revisit it
Print or save this guide for your own use. Nothing you write on a printed copy is submitted through the site.
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Working together
Bring the conversation into therapy
Dr. Tina Halabian offers individual, couples, and family therapy, primarily by telehealth for clients located in California or New York at the time of sessions. Therapy is available in English and Farsi. A free 15-minute introductory call can help you explore fit and availability.
Request a free introductory call