Everyday life & relationships
A thoughtful conversation planner
Five prompts to help you clarify what happened, what matters, and what you want to ask for—before you start the conversation.
Use this before an everyday conversation
This planner helps you organize what you want to say to a partner, friend, or family member. Work through the prompts on paper or in your own private notes. The checkboxes below are optional reminders; this tool has no submission button, response storage, or account requirement.
Use these prompts only when it is safe to speak openly. If a conversation could expose you to threats, coercion, or retaliation, seek confidential support rather than relying on a script.
1. Choose one topic
What happened, in observable terms? Pick one example rather than a list of everything that has gone wrong.
2. Name what matters
What feeling, need, value, or practical concern is underneath this? Write it in your own words without guessing the other person’s intentions.
3. Make a specific request
What could the other person actually do? Distinguish your request from a limit you will set for yourself.
4. Invite their perspective
What would you like to understand about their experience? Write one question you can ask with curiosity.
5. Choose timing and a next step
When is there time and privacy? If you need a pause, how could you agree to return to the conversation? What would be a workable first step?
Put it into a simple opening
“When [specific event] happened, I felt [your experience]. What matters to me is [need or concern]. Would you be open to [specific request]? I would also like to understand how it felt from your side.”
This is a starting point, not a script you must deliver exactly. Adapt it to your voice. The other person may need time or have a different view. A useful conversation can end with a clearer understanding rather than complete agreement.
Keep a copy
To use this as a worksheet, print this page or save it as a PDF using your browser’s Print command. Write your responses on your own copy. Avoid entering personal or clinical information into website inquiry fields.
Read: Bringing up a difficult topic · Read: Boundaries without overexplaining
A place to talk it through
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